the biggest loser is actually a gainer: the not-so-secret weight loss struggle

*Now that the results of Biggest Loser Philippines have been released (not that it's a big thing for me) I shall now post this.*

Five months ago, I was just enjoying the summer vacation.

Five months ago, I was contemplating on whether or not I should begin further studies for professional development.

Five months ago, I was worrying what the school year will bring now that I am no longer part of the middle administration and I am now back to being a regular teacher handling 18-22 units of academic load which in my case will be at least 9 classes.

Sept. 2007

Five months ago, I was suspended in the thought that I will survive the coming school year well and that I will be so engrossed teaching.

Five months ago, I was OK with how I looked physically; then T.H.E. happened.

Yes. That. The subject. Technology and Home Economics. During one of the pre-opening days of the school year, THE teachers decided they would let all others know their current Body Mass Index(BMI) so we can all start thinking about our weights and our physical looks. I went to school that day, armed with the knowledge that I weighed 189 lbs. and reached 5'7". I was cool with that since I fit in size 34 jeans, medium to large shirts as compared to how I was when I had just graduated from high school. Back then, scales would tip to 220-230 lbs and extra large clothes and size 38-40 jeans cluttered my closet. So, when I lost 30-40 pounds after a decade of never-ending weight struggles, I was pretty satisfied with my weight five months ago.

Ms. Carina Salgado, one of the THE teachers, presented the method to compute our BMI and a table showing the categories where our BMI could possibly fall under. All this time, I only believed that I was simply overweight. Chubby. Big-boned. Cute. And the BMI table approved. Until Ms. Salgado added that the BMI table that she first presented was for Caucasians and she showed another table. This time, the results are not even loathsome. They are appalling. I was categorized by that table as a pre-obese individual. And like any word that is affixed with that prefix, the word it is affixed to is a looming, imminent reality.

When the results were revealed, no one was saying anything. It seemed like everyone zoomed out of the Pere Chauvet Hall and zeroed in their own heartbreaking misery. Meanwhile, I was having a Patrick-Starfish-staring-blankly-into-space moment. The term pre-obese kept circling in my mind I swear I was already seeing PRE-OBESE being spelled out in front of me. I went to school that day happy, alive, and kicking. But even Edgar Allan Poe nor Virginia Woolf could define the torment that enveloped me.

I needed to do something about it, knowing that I was one of the teachers who was very much into fitness and healthful living.

Then I remembered one of my cardiologists who, during the check-up, stared at me and literally sized me up and matter-of-factly said, "And you've got to lose weight."

I was ran over by a truckload of health concerns and physical and social concerns that made me realize that it's time to take action and stop making excuses.

Thanks to Steve Jobs and the developers of iPhone applications, the path to weight loss became clearer and more realizable. While searching for iPhone applications via iTunes in my Macbook Pro (oo na, ako na addict sa Mac) I scoured for the best application that I could depend on to make me lose weight. While doing this, I started reading more over the Internet various materials about weight loss, its myths, and all possible forms of dieting available out there.

As I have mentioned, I have been a fitness and healthful living advocate and that began when I started rowing for the UP Dragonboat Team in 2005. Being part of the team made me realize that I could proactively control my weight. You see, researches say that we only have 40% control over our weight because most of it is determined by our genetic make-up. Knowing that I come from a family of big-boned, obese humans, I had to employ continuous control over my weight.

I actively trained for the dragonboat team for almost two years. During the first two months of rigorous training, changes in my weight, body, and skin tone began showing. I was able to lose 15 pounds in less than two months. And in the same year, I was able to run my first 5-km marathon finishing it in less than 40 minutes. It was a great achievement.

Then 2007 came. I graduated. Got employed in my current job and started going to the gym. Fitness First kept me fit after I retired from rowing because of conflicts in training schedules and the nature of my job. In FF, colleague Kenchi Refugio introduced me to the different workouts I could do to lose weight and build muscles. Although I wasn't a novice to the gym because I took Circuit Training PE in UP, the thought of working out in the gym still excited me.

After getting used to working out on a regular basis, I started joining group exercises ranging from cycling, yoga practice, and dance classes. My weight then played in the range of 175-185 pounds. It was OK. But I knew that I wasn't satisfied with how I looked physically considering how much FF is taking away from my monthly income. But the working out continued until the first quarter of this year. But a medical revelation from not so long ago kept on haunting me and I had to pay attention to it.

Three years ago, during the second year in my current job, a chest x-ray revealed that I had a mild cardiomegaly or in layman's term, heart enlargement. The school doctor just told me that this might be a side effect of being athletic. So I let it pass. Then the x-ray results for the next two years revealed the same results. But the 2010 x-ray was the most alarming: my heart was twice the normal size, which meant I have more love to give. Okay, fail. But seriously, the school doctor told me I had to undergo a 2D echo examination. I began the school year with a heavy heart, literally and figuratively. But I still put it off because I was busy with work. So February 2011 came and I succumbed to the doctor's request.

Then the results came out. My cardiologists told me that I had to undergo operation soon. And because of my current heart and health condition, they discouraged me from working out or running or doing anything that is physically strenuous. Goodbye FF. Goodbye yoga practice, marathon running, cycling, and goodbye dancing.

So the only solution to my weight problem was revealed by Mac after a few hours of reading, searching, and consulting. The My Fitness Pal application became my friend since that fateful summer day. The diet was just simple: consume only the calories that you are allowed after taking into consideration your lifestyle and fitness level.

Thanks to my obsessive-compulsive disorder following the diet was a piece of cake. Well, not the first few weeks. Every time I was about to eat something, I would consult my pal and have him/her assess how many calories each food and beverage contained. Little by little I was beginning to memorize the calorie content of pretty much everything I ate and consulting my pal was no longer necessary. But because of this calorie-content obsession, grocery shopping required more time from my weekends. Before I place anything in the grocery basket, I would consult the nutrition guide and look at the calorie content. Most of the food I used to eat and binge on were all taken out of the grocery list: Oreos (130 calories, I think, for 2 cookies), cheese cupcakes (150-200 calories a piece), and so many other used-to-be staples in the list.

If grocery shopping was like taking the UPCAT, eating out was like taking the LSAT. Fastfood chains are the last option and mostly I would just dine out in Starbucks because they have a complete list of the nutritional facts of everything they have in their menu. But if I have to dine out with friends, I would make sure that I have at least a basic idea of the possible calorie content of what they offer.

Following this diet, as I said, is a piece of cake. Well, only if you are alone and you aren't bothering others because of the obsession. But when I have to eat with friends, I just have to resort to the other option so that I wouldn't take so much of the time just figuring out what to eat and adding the calorie content in my head: I would just refrain from eating heavy meals for breakfast and lunch so I would be sure that I wouldn't exceed my daily calorie requirement.

The diet is simply all about conscious eating - knowing what you put in your mouth and how many calories each contains. Sometimes, I feel that I am going crazy because when I talk about food, I will not finish the sentence without mentioning how many calories it contains.

Moreover, the diet allowed me to eat anything I want to eat. I just have to eat everything in moderation. I can eat rice, cookies, sugary and sweet food. Everything. If I want to eat cake, I'll take a spoonful or two. If I want to eat DQ 9-oz rocky road blizzard, I will skip dinner. If I want to eat pasta and pizza, I'll half the serving of the pasta and eat a slice of pizza. If I want caffeine fix, I'll order tall, light, no whipped cream Mocha Frappuccino in Starbucks. If I want to eat donuts, I'll go to Krispy Kreme and eat one sugar glazed donut which only has 200 calories (that's already a cup of rice by the way). If I want to eat more, I will walk around the mall and window shop for two hours.

It sounds as though I am so conscious of what I do and eat but aren't we all supposed to be? After all, what we do to and for our body we will eventually feel.

Sept. 2011

This discipline and obsession all paid off. Five months ago I was 5'7", 189 pounds, and wore 34-in jeans and medium to large shirts. Now, I am 5'7", 145 pounds, wearing 30-in jeans, and extra small to small shirts.

The biggest loser is actually a gainer. I gained confidence and I had more self-esteem to face my classes, co-workers, high school and college friends.

Above everything else, I now have the confidence to face the mirror for more than 30 seconds and actually love what it is reflecting.

But I don't stare for such a long time, lest I turn into a flower.